worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You are the jesus of drinking
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
