don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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