dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
