Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my poor anus
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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