Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
