She's JV to your varsity
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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