You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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