come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
