Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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