I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
