if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
