Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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