I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You made out with two different species that night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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