HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
