Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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