if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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