I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
