too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize