Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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