Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
