we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
