Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
