just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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