Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
ugly people sure do ruin things
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize