So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
