HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize