How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
