; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize