You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
