Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
