my vag is so smooth its legendary
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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