just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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