he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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