dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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