You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
