I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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