i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
