and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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