i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
