Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
bring money and cleavage
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
