conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
