I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize