Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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