I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
