Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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