i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
