Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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