So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
