this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
