guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
