In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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