2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
