I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
