i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
