I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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