can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Did I show you my penis last night?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
