I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize