he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize