Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
