I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
