does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
